I kinda didn’t feel like doing a whole ritual last night in honor of the Goddess…and I do have the Mabon ritual to look forward to on the 22nd. So I just lit some rose incense, lit a white candle and meditated on the Moon and the Goddess in her Mother aspect.
I asked for an online friend of mine to have blessings today as she had a court date with her ex over child custody. Turns out, she won’t be losing custody of her kids!

The God and Goddess shine down on all. Blessed be!

Early this morning (about 3:30am) I got my candle, incense, alter, and discman together for meditation. I’ve been spending a lot of time at the Revelations message board, talking about religion, and sometimes it gets a bit intense. I was getting tense and I knew a meditation would help fix that. So after posting my last post there, I turned off the computer, gathered my items and sat down on the couch. Turned on the discman and found a soothing song.
I started with the four-count breathing. I thought about all the things that were jumbled in my mind and let them slip away. As I breathed in, I was breathing in postives. As I breathed out, I was breathing out negatives.
I decided to just do a little creative visualization. I visualized the big oak tree from the meadow I often visit in my meditations….just the tree. I felt the texture, saw the leaves blow in the breeze, used all my senses to make this tree real. I saw the faeries flit in and out of the branches. I sat this way for awhile…just taking in the tree.
When I felt fully relaxed, I brought myself back, letting the tree slip away into darkness. It felt really good just to sit and relax like that.

I know I haven’t been posting here very often. It’s been really hard to get any time to do any rituals and meditations since my 3 year old has been so clingly lately. I missed doing a full moon ritual last weekend (I don’t even know why now…think it was a mixture of being too tired and my little munchkin only wanting to fall asleep and sleep near me.) So I also missed doing a Beltane ritual. It will be so nice when we can move out of this tiny apartment and I can have my own space for ritual work.

So anyway, as my munchkin was sleeping on the living floor, I really couldn’t perform a ritual Friday or Saturday night. I was planning on doing it Friday night/Saturday morning since Saturday was going to be a busy day (birthday party) and I wasn’t too sure what was going on Saturday night. But alas, things didn’t work out.
So I grabbed up my diskman early Saturday morning (or was it Sunday morning…I can’t remember), put on some spring-like music couresty of Enya and did a celebration of spring meditation. It’s not the same as a ritual and I would have liked to perform a ritual…but oh well…there’s always next time.

It has been so long since I’ve done a meditation, and boy, was ever in need of one. Since hubby’s been home on workman’s comp it’s been hard to find time to myself between him and the boys. Last night, I finally got some.
The reason why I’ve needed a mediation so bad? Well, one…it’s been forever since I’ve done it (need to start doing it every day…or at least a few times a week) and I’ve also been reading and posting quite a bit as of late on a religious message board. The message board is supposed to be about the tv show, Revelations…which I have been watching. (Can’t not watch Bill Pullman!) Of course, the message board is mostly a religious debate, no one really talking about the show at all. But anyway, I’m strong in my beliefs, and love to try to teach others about them, if they want to learn. So I’ve just been going back and forth with reading and sometimes posting when I feel the need. My mind has been overloaded by it lately, and I haven’t slept well the past few nights.

So, last night (I should say early this morning, as it was about 3am) I finally got some time alone to sit down, relax and meditate. Hubby bought me a diskman a couple weeks ago, so I can listen to soothing music…so I popped in my Fairy In The Woods disk, set my alter in front of the couch, set up a white candle and Greentea incense, turned off the lights, and sat down.
I stared at the candle for a bit, realized that the music wasn’t right and skipped to the next song. Ahhh…much better. My eyes slipped shut and there I was, walking in the moonlight through a garden of flowers and trees. Little lights flickered past me….faeries! I kept walking and ended up in my meadow from previous meditations. The big oak tree was all alight with faerie flickers. There was a table and “chairs” (all tree stumps) set up underneath the tree. I sat down and as I was watching the faeries flickering in the half-light (from the moon), I saw a pair of eyes in the woods surrounding the meadow. Instantly I thought of the God and then out He walks. Next I see the Goddess emerge. She’s got a glow about Her like moonlight. She walks over and sits down on the other stump. She smiles at me and I smile back. My heart starts to feel lighter already. We talk, mostly about the message board stuff (seems funny, but that has been at the forefront of my thoughts lately.) She’s very understanding and reassuring. Then She reaches out Her hand and covers both of mine (which are clasped together, resting on the stump table). I feel a tingling and warmth surge through me. It is an awesome feeling. My heart speeds up as the energy She sends washes through me. She then withdraws Her hand, and as the energy dissapates, my heart slows back down and my breathing becomes regular once more. She stands, saying She must go now. I stand and smile as the God links Her arm in his and They walk together back into the forest. The faerie lights are still flickering, but there are less of them now. I realize it is time for bed. I slowly come back from my meditation…and I feel so much better!
I sat staring at the candle for a bit longer, in awe of my first real meeting and conversation with the Goddess. Then I cleaned up and went to bed…and I slept really well.

I’ve been following the case of Terri Schiavo for about a week now and have read many peoples views on whether she should live or die (via news coverage, message boards, and blogs). My personal opinion: 15 years is a long time to be kept alive artificially, too long…time to move on and let her die with dignity and be at peace.

I decided to meditate on the situation, since it has been getting to me lately. I did not ask the Goddess and God to let her die….nor did I ask to let her live. I simply put my personal thoughts out there and thought whatever happens, it will be for the betterment of all. She’s here for a reason and this is happening for a reason. I believe we choose our life plans for the current life while in the Summerlands, before we are born back to the Earth. I believe this is one of the obsticles she chose to deal with in this life. Whether she lives or dies will (hopfully) be towards the greater good. That is what I asked for.

I was going to perform a full moon ritual last night/early this morning, but my little munchkin ‘K’ decided to stay up until 1am…and by the time he did finally fall asleep, I was so ragged and worn I just didn’t have it in me.
But I did need a meditation because I was worn down from him screaming before he finally fell asleep. So right before I went to bed, I sat on the couch (no candle or incense…it was already almost 4am) and just breathed….in to a count of 4, out to a count of 4. Breathed and relaxed….letting all bad things float away. No visualization this time. This was just for relaxation and letting go of the night’s earlier events.
When done, I felt a weight had been lifted and I felt sleepy. Went to bed and slept well.

Ahhh ….
I’ve been in need of a good mediation and since hubby went to bed early, I was able to get it in this morning.
I set up my white candle and my green tea incense on my alter. Sat down on the couch, and just kind of sat and stared at the flame and the smoke for a while. I breathed in and out to a 4-count. Then my eyes closed and I went through a void of blackness.
On the other side was my meadow from previous meditations. It was lightly raining, and a little breezy, but not too cold. The grass under my bare feet was damp and the earth soggy and cold. I dug my toes in. (My bunny was out of his cage during this time and everytime he hopped up on my lap, I visulized a bunny in my meadow. I even pet him while in meditation, imaging I was petting him in the meadow.) I walked down the hill and over to the stream to get a drink. I cupped my hands and slid them into the cool water … brought them out and drank. I went over to the big oak tree that’s near the stream and sat down with my back against it. I sat there for a bit, just listening to the sounds of the rain and the wind. It got a little cold, so I collected a few branches that were on the ground and made a fire. I felt the heat on my face and it warmed me right up. After gazing into the fire for a little bit, I decided it was time to get back to the mundane world. I cupped some water in my hands from the stream and doused the fire. Before leaving I looked up at the cloudy sky and thanked the Goddess and God for being with me, not just in meditation, but all the time. A stonger breeze blew around and lifted up my hair, and I knew they heard me. I walked back up the hill and into the black void.
I find myslef sitting on the couch again, and I gaze into the candle flame and watch the incense smoke a little longer. I stretch out. Out goes the candle and I let the incense burn til its gone.

I feel refreshed and more at peace now. And kind of tired.

After not meditating since before the holiday rush started at the end of last year, I sat down and did it this morning. Ahhh, it felt good! I’ve been meaning to sit and relax and get back into meditating for a while now, but just haven’t done it. I made myself this morning, and I’m glad I did.
I usually just sit in the computer chair with my candle and incense on my alter, but this time I thought I’d get a little more comfy. So I moved my alter in front of the couch, then set the incense (Green Tea) and a white taper candle on it. I sat staring at the flame and incense smoke, breathing deeply in and out. When I couldn’t hold my eyes open any longer, I let them close. I’ve tried a couple variations from authors on visualization, but found that what I could hold most clearly in my mind was that of being in an open meadow with a forest all around. I could feel the green grass between my bare toes … cold, because it’s not quite spring yet. I could feel that of the element Earth in the dirt beneath the grass. The wind blows my hair and that of a big oak tree standing near a stream that runs through the meadow. I feel the element of Air as it rustles the leaves, bends the grass, and touches my face. I put my hands in the stream. Cold water rushes over them, reminding me of the element of Water. It’s a cloudy day in my meadow, but the sun peaks out briefly from behind the clouds, warming my body from the coldness of the winter. This is the element of Fire.
I hold this vision as long as I can … this time only about six or seven minutes. Once my mind starts to wander, I know it’s time to come back. So I bring myself back to reality. I open my eyes, take a few deep breaths and sit for another few mintues, just watching the flame and incense smoke. It’s kind of enchanting.
I know in time, with practice, my meditations will be longer as I get better at my visualization. I need to start meditating daily again. I feel much more relaxed afterward … and after a day with the boys, that’s a really nice feeling.